“Good manners reflect something from inside-an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.” Emily Post
Throughout history, humans have devised methodologies and moral codes to bring together different cultures, to have as guidelines for the preservation of societies and to help make human interaction more conscientious. Though not all manners always make sense and others are maintained even beyond their usefulness. One wonders why we are ever ‘educated’ to curtsey, at least I was and at 5 years old on the East Coast, I just assumed it was part of the protocol, like standing up for an elder, shaking hands with eye contact, and keeping one’s ankle crossed while sitting. We may not have been building a more civilized society, but it made my parents happy as well as the headmistress!
But how did the concept of manners truly originate? By definition, manners (late 14th century) refer to external behavior, especially polite behavior, in social interactions. It is the plural form of manner, which originally meant “proper behavior” or “commendable habits of conduct” around the year 1300. Interestingly, the concept of manners often involves a balance between individuality and our shared humanity and likely existed in all societies, human, animal, and plant, as the necessary and agreed upon system of survival. I am sure National Geographic can provide hundreds of examples of manners in the animal and plant kingdoms. Finding examples for the human kingdom seems to be more challenging.
When we read the papers, watch the news, look around our communities and often see conflict and controversy, confrontation and insults, we can begin to wonder what happened to our manners? Have we replaced common courtesy, respect, the ability to listen with some self-serving idea that no matter what we are always right, that only our ideas matter, that all other thoughts are useless or a distraction. If this is the mindset of the day, we are losing the benefit of interaction, the mind-enhancing experience of a balanced debate, the window to new thoughts to review and discuss.
This is true in work as it is in life. Were we able to re-ignite manners in the workplace, we would be able to learn from each other. We would have respect for the needs of each team member from founder to team members. Manners are truly the glue that hold the workplace as well as our society together. Manners can open the door to new knowledge. Manners are simply the willingness to grant respect to each other. Manners can bring happiness. It is easy, and no need to learn how to curtsey.
Gillian